| insert everything i want to write but am too afraid or feel too frustrated to write here.
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| I haven't been on Xanga in a while because... well. because I was a bit too preoccupied with my health for a while...
I promise to catch up on everything soon though. hopefully.
sorry
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| Last night, or rather this morning I did something I'm really not proud of. I can honestly say, hands down, no if and or buts, no questions asked, this is something I do regret. It was something that never should have happened. I know that. But it did. However, I at least got to talk about some of it... but I still don't feel right about it. It was stupid. So stupid to let it happen. And there's more I want to say but certain people read this. Gosh damn it. This is my blog and I should be able to write what I want. To express my thoughts. That was my reason for having this, to get the things I couldn't say off my chest. But no. Here I am censoring everything. I won't let this devour me. I've just got to be careful next time. I need to have stronger morals. And when I say no I guess I've got to put some more force into it or something...
Daughtry concert on Monday.
Sociology test on Tuesday.
Edu Psych test on Wednesday.
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| My sister was on my laptop when I got home and after I ate dinner, I didn't really feel like bothering her. Therefore, I decided to do something I hadn't done in a while. I got out a book I'm reading and curled up on the couch under a blanket. I forgot how tired I was. I fell asleep after reading 4 pages. I had the nastiest dream in my life and when I woke up a few hours later, my mom was home and I thought I smelled cheesecake and I thought I heard the sound of plastic/glass plastic pumpkin decorations touching. I was wrong. I smelled chicken, although my mom actually did buy cheesecake but forgot it, and I heard the sound of jars touching. I was still tired from my nap so I was a little disoriented. Honestly, nothing made sense but it was all very humorous. It's been about an hour since I woke up and I really wish things still felt funny because now I'm back to thinking about Friday afternoon. And I'm back to wondering why none of it made sense. I'm back to wondering how I could have been so sure about a lot of things in my life only to have none of it amount to anything.
I'm not too sure what to do about any of it except to keep trying to ignore it and focus on my school work.
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| The downside to watching movies with all that cute romantic crap is that it reminds you of all the cute romantic crap you used to have in your life.
ah well.
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